Over the course of my mission I worked on a number of blog posts and ideas. For some reason or another, I never got around to completing some of them. In an effort to finish that which I've already started, I'll begin with this one.
"He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding . . ." (
Proverbs 14:29)
I'd say that's some very wise counsel as I have come to learn that anger is usually spurred by a lack of understanding of some variable on my part. With anger comes a variety of emotions and feelings that usually are far from desirable - my muscles tense up, my head gets hot, and I feel quite agitated. Everything that follows anger is everything opposite of what God's Spirit feels like.
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith ... meekness, temperance." (Galatians 5:22-23)
"We've all felt anger. It can come when things don’t turn out the way we want. It might be a reaction to something which is said of us or to us. We may experience it when people don’t behave the way we want them to behave. Perhaps it comes when we have to wait for something longer than we expected. We might feel angry when others can’t see things from our perspective. There seem to be countless possible reasons for anger." (President Thomas S. Monson)
So it seems, anger is driven by a lack of understanding since more often then not, its usually the result of a quick judgement in a situation we should have remembered to be patient in. The anger that builds up inside ourselves pushes God's Spirit away, which is the very tool God's given to reveal knowledge. Once we turn our back on feeling the Spirit, it is as if we are walking down a dark, treacherous path all alone without any light, guide, or handrail.
In thinking about how anger dull's our ability to hear the Spirit, I read this quote be Elder L. Tom Perry:
"The inspiring influence of the Holy Spirit can be overcome or masked by strong emotions, such as anger, hate, passion, fear, or pride. When such influences are present, it is like trying to savor the delicate flavor of a grape while eating a jalapeño pepper.
Both flavors are present, but one completely overpowers the other. In like manner, strong emotions overcome the delicate promptings of the Holy Spirit."
With that quote on my mind, my thoughts on how strong emotions can remove us from feeling the Spirit was furthered by a dinner experience I had in Helena, MT. We were served a massive burger that had 6 lbs. of turkey burger, 2 lbs. of turkey sausage, and 2 lbs. of bacon, 1 whole head of lettuce, 3 full tomatoes, and sauteed onions. To seal the deal, our cutting utensil was a katana.
As I was gearing up to eat my portion of this beast, I was asked if I liked hot stuff. Though my taste buds have sort of lived in a sheltered atmosphere, I told him definitely and he brought out Dave's Insanity Sauce. I've tried this sauce before but apparently had forgotten its effects. I proceeded to pour it on my burger, ate about half of it, and then had to drop my pride and give in to its insanity-ness.
I won't say its the hottest sauce ever (especially after eating a Ghost Pepper sauce), but maybe a good clue to just how "hot" this sauce was could have been realized by reading its back label:
"A great cooking ingredient for sauces, soups, and stews. Also, strips waxed floors and removes driveway grease stains. Enjoy!".
Now, that you have a gauge on its level of heat, here's the relation in telling this story. No matter how hard I tried to enjoy it, the hot sauce completely overcame any other tastes. My sense of taste was completely dull to anything and everything. Thanks to that wonderful sauce which I choose to apply excessively, my mouth was numb for a good while. Strong emotions have the same, dulling effect in our efforts to enjoy the presence and comfort of the Holy Ghost.
I don't know what kind of hot sauces they had back in the day, but a scripture from the Book of Mormon comes to mind as it talks about being numb to our spiritual senses. The phrase that the scripture used was "past feeling". Its in reference to two people who were constantly opposing God and complaining about their circumstances. Their brother, in an effort to lead them back to Christ, was quite bold with them, saying:
"[Laman and Lemuel,] ye are swift to do iniquity but slow to remember the Lord your God. Ye have seen an angel, and he spake unto you; yea, ye have heard his voice from time to time; and he hath spoken unto you in a still small voice,
but ye were past feeling, that ye
could not feel his words..."
I don't know what that feels like entirely. And I don't want to, I feel like I have come close enough to it as it already is. Anger and unrighteous passions, over time, build up an immunity to the gentle care of the Holy Ghost. To reach a point where His words cannot be felt is a course I never want to pursue. The meaning of "being past feeling" to me signifies the surrender of agency. Our agency is the only thing we truly have, and if we want to keep it, our feelings must be schooled.
School thy feelings, O my brother;
Train thy warm, impulsive soul.
Do not its emotions smother,
But let wisdom’s voice control.
School thy feelings; there is power
In the cool, collected mind.
Passion shatters reason’s tower,
Makes the clearest vision blind.
President Thomas S. Monson loves the words to that song. I think it provides very good advice. One of life's many challenges and opportunities is learning how to "school" our feelings. Thus, there is no cookie cutter method that leads us through each situation and scenario. I wrote most of this while on my mission and I felt like I could finally finish it. At the time, there were a couple situations that had transpired that I wish had better outcomes. Anger and frustration refereed those instances and the result was the loss of the Spirit.
My curiosity always leads me into the "why". And so, I'm making a concerted effort to check why I feel a certain way and why I should react the way I feel. I haven't found any step-by-step method yet, but asking "Why be angry" or "Why be sad" I think is a good start in learning how to gain control over our emotions.
. . . And yes, we really did use a katana to cut that burger.
