Scripture Is Written For Us

From being rejected on the door step, to canceled and no-show appointments, my mission's had a lot of struggles that has allowed me to to grow closer to Jesus Christ.

Last week I had, put simply, just a down-right terrible day. Unlike other downer days, this one was not caused by anyone but myself. I woke up in a mood in which I will label as "numb".  I didn't feel energized, I didn't feel like getting out to playing our usual morning game of basketball - although, watching me play would bring a severe case of depression upon anyone - and I was not looking forward to any of the plans that we had made for that day.  I had no enthusiasm and no desire to really accomplish anything.  It was, as I'll put it, a very "nothing" feeling - I felt numb to anything and everything that morning.  I felt entirely empty.

Regardless of my bad mood, I persuaded myself to get out and get some exercise - that usually always gets happy thoughts flowing. Having received some good pointers not too long ago about how to actually make basketball fun (I still haven't worked out how basketball and fun can merge together but its a work in progress), a 1 v 1 game has become bearable.  Even after playing one round of the game, my spirits had not been lightened one bit- rather, I was all the more frustrated because I did not want to be in a mood like this.  All I wanted to do was have this day be done and over with.



Not feeling very satisfied with the outcome of the game, I left to go back inside our apartment, which was located in a basement.  There are two doors that lead down to the apartment - the first one is from the ground level and has a large glass pane on it, the second one is down 10-12 steps to another door that also has a large, thick glass pane on it, this one having a metal grate on the inside behind it.  The door is not very cooperative and often requires a good nudge to get it to open.

My mood had not changed at all, and if anything, it might have gotten worse.  If my failed attempt at trying to lift my spirits by playing basketball didn't work (which probably was the root of it all in the first place) then what happened next sure made my situation even worse.
Making it down the stairs, I got to the door that required a good push and nudge to open.  I usually use my shoulder against the glass and it would then kick open.  We always joked around about how someday it might break - well, it did and the door opened.  It cracked at where my shoulder had made contact with it, having some pieces fall to the ground but most remained in the door.  It cut my arm above the elbow and across my head. 

While cleaning it up, I got a couple more good cuts to my hands since I had no gloves nor was I thinking straight.  I used more "umph" against that door then I should have and I told that to our owners, who live right above us.  They said that no matter what I did, it probably was because that the glass was getting a bit brittle.  Maybe so, but nonetheless, the door's glass pane was shattered and broken - a perfect example of how I was feeling that morning.

I felt numb and there was no excitement or glow in my eyes.  I felt no hope and my purpose useless.  Me did not feel anything like me.  Me felt and started to think that I had no purpose being here.  It did not start with the door breaking yet it exemplified my frustration all too well; I was not satisfied with myself or anything for that matter.

It then became a time of interesting thinking and pondering as I continued to clean up the glass and move on with my day.

It didn't come easy but I was brought to an epistle by the Apostle Paul in  2 Corinthians 7:11 and it taught me of a number of attributes that I needed to infuse into my day:

1. Clearing of one's self conscience
2. Indignation
3. Fear (sometimes we must fear first before we can learn love)
4. Vehement Desire
5. Zeal
6. Revenge: Replacing that for which was bad with good with an unyielding passion

Paul makes mention of those attributes while talking of godly sorrow and how it leads us to repentance, which allows us to have a change of heart. From there, I was led to another writing by Paul a few chapters later in 2 Corinthians 12, in which he spoke of a "thorn of the flesh" and how he asked the Lord three times to have it removed.

The Lord responded, saying, "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness".  Paul then said that he would then glory in affliction for Christ's sake because he knew that when he was weak, Christ would make him strong. 

Another disciple of Christ named Moroni faced a similar experience and needed the Lord's word of counsel and comfort.  In Ether 12:27 in the Book of Mormon, the Lord told Moroni that if men came unto Him, He would show them their weaknesses that through him, our weaknesses would be turned into strengths.

The Lord then tells him of the things that he must do to receive that help from Him.  Obviously, if what we are doing is not bringing us any happiness or is not helping us get out of the rut that we are in, it would only make sense that we must start doing something different.  I am so glad that God cares so much for us that he has given us commandments, for they will undoubtedly show us that way that will bring us back to Him - now that's happiness!  The three things that he asks are:

1. Faith
2. Hope
3. Charity

What caused me the greatest confusion that morning was what I was dealing with internally inside my head.  I thought to myself, "I am out teaching a Gospel that brings peace, hope, love, joy, excitement, motivation, and happiness!  Can I not also be a partaker in this glorious feast also?  Why do I feel like I am the one that is need of a spiritual boost and visit?  Why couldn't I feel that happiness as I promise others will have as they live the Gospel?  I study the scriptures, I pray, and I try hard to keep the commandments as best that I can.  Where do I fit in?"

I posed this question to myself and to God:

"Do I forget the dealings of the Lord so easily?  How can I excuse all of what I've read, heard, seen, and felt just by the change of the day?  What am I missing to feel of His love?"

The answer I received was based in humility. I learned that on our bad days, we must always remember that there are others that have had their own equal share of bad days.  They are contained within the scriptures and as it was for Moroni, Paul, and myself, the one who could comfort them was Jesus Christ.  It was He who was sent to be a Savior for the whole world to help us.  It was He would called upon prophets in every age to write of things that led up to have hope and faith.

Just as much as I need to be out teaching of Jesus Christ, I need to have experiences of my own in searching out for his love and saving grace at all times!  I cannot forget this.  I never have doubted my need for the Savior, yet I have been awoken to the fact that it can be easy to push away the reality of needing a Savor constantly, not just momentarily.

Following those three things that God had told Moroni to receive that strength, Moroni's writes his commentary saying that the Lord's words had comforted him because he knew that the Lord would work and help him, as well as all of God's children, according to their faith.

Now, my day didn't get immediately better but it did bring me back to my senses to realizing that God wanted me to overcome this trial by relying on His Word. I know He prepared the scriptures for me to believe in Jesus Christ, to know of faith, hope, charity, and love and to help me out on a day like this. So when your bad days come (and they will), always remember that God has given us the scriptures to enlarge our memory and help us realize our full potential by seeking Christ out diligently!